Joyous Of Aphrodite

I believe in the 3 C's...
choice
chance
& change.

I made a choice to take a chance and make a change!

Turns out it was the best choice for me :)

'A raindrops falls because the sky can mo longer handle it's weight.

...just like the tears ..

It falls because the heart can no longer handle the

"PAIN"

when one leaves..it does hurts the other.. but life is too short to chase them rather move forward ... ^^

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high,
And the dreams that you've only of
Once in a lullaby.

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly,
And the dreams that you've dare too dream really do come true.

Someday i'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far
Behind me.
Where troubles melts like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me.

Well, i see
Trees of green and red roses too,
I'll watch them bloom for me and you
Skies of blues and, clouds of white,
And the brightness of day, i like the dark
I hear babies cry, i watch them grow
They'll learn much more than really know
And i think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

Well i see,
The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands saying how do you do

They're really saying i... I love you.

reminds me of a friend.. ^^

I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along

It's always been about me, myself, and I
I thought relationships were nothing but a waste of time
I never wanted to be anybody's other half
I was happy saying I had love that wouldn't last
That was the only way I knew 'til I met you

You make we wanna say
I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do do
Yeah, I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do do
Cause every time before it's been like
Maybe yes and maybe no
I can live without it, I can let it go
Ooh what did I get myself into?
You make we wanna say I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do

Tell me is it only me
Do you feel the same?
You know me well enough to know that I'm not playing games
I promise I won't turn around and I won't let you down
You can trust I've never felt it like I feel it now
Baby there's nothing, there's nothing we can't get through

So can we say
I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do do
Oh baby, I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do do
Cause every time before it's been like
Maybe yes and maybe no
I won't live without it, I won't let it go
What more can I get myself into?
You make we wanna say

Me, a family, a house, a family
Ooh, can we be a family?
And when I'm eighty years old I'm sitting next to you

And we'll remember when we said
I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do do
Oh baby, I do, I do, I do, do do do do do do do
Cause every time before it's been like
Maybe yes and maybe no
I won't live without it, I won't let us go
Just look at what we got ourselves into
You make we wanna say I do, I do, I do, I do, I do, I do,
Love you

By: Dr. Pam Spurr

It may be 2011 but now, just as always, men and women can still get crossed wires. Misunderstandings and arguments are the natural result of different points of view, but they can also suffer from a failure of the Big C - communication. But there's absolutely no need to feel occasionally like you're speaking different languages around each other. Here are seven simple but important strategies to kickstart communication that improves your relationships.

The Big C Tip No 1: Use eye contact You two, like most couples, are probably always in a rush. With constant pressures it's easy to lose the most basic communication - direct eye contact. Be honest, most of the time you're speaking to her you've probably got one eye on your mobile, and the other on paperwork, Facebook or even the television. But eye contact goes to the core of our emotional and psychological self and heightens communication. As the saying goes, "the eyes are the windows to be soul". Close those windows and you close off communication. So when speaking, take a moment to look directly at her - do that regularly and it'll make a world of difference.

The Big C Tip No 2: Claim responsibility Women can't stand it when men appear evasive about claiming responsibility for what they're saying. Beating around the bush won't cut it with her. Get around this easily by using 'I statements'. It's simple - begin sentences about your point with an "I". Let's say you're discussing the rows you have over how you spend weekends. You should say, "I believe we'd have fewer rows if we organised our time better at the weekends. I think we should do X, Y and Z to sort it." That's far more powerful and effective than saying, "You know, er, maybe we need to think about our weekend time because we both get so stressed about things, etc, etc"

The Big C Tip No 3: Be positive: You'll go far with communication by saying something positive even when you're raising a negative. If you have a difficult or sensitive topic to discuss ALWAYS begin by highlighting something positive about this issue before tackling the difficulty. You immediately generate goodwill from her by showing that there's a positive basis to help sort it out. And starting on that positive note things are less likely to degenerate into world war three.

The Big C Tip No 4: The reflective technique Something that psychologists use - and should be used in any meaningful communication - is the reflective technique. Take a few moments when she's said something to reflect it back to her. For instance, she says it gets on her nerves when you tease her around your friends. You reflect back, "so it gets on your nerves when I tease you around my friends?" Immediately you've got her on-side because you've listened to what she said. And that's what she wants more than anything! The conversation, eg about your behaviour around your mates, can continue from that constructive point.

The Big C Tip No 5: Keep goal focused Many couples get frustrated with each other because they start discussing one topic and end up going around the houses discussing about 20 issues. Use that male ability to focus on a goal by steering the conversation back to the main topic when you go off course. It's easily done - as soon as things stray off-topic you simply say, "I'd really like to get back to talking about X, Y or Z." Said calmly and with determination it makes a world of difference to sorting out issues one at a time.

The Big C Tip No 6: The key gender difference You'll have far more success with her if you don't ignore a key gender difference in conversational style. Men often talk about what they 'think' about something, where women talk about what they 'feel'. Subconsciously you'll make a positive connection with her by using the words 'feel' and 'feeling' instead of 'think' and 'thinking'. Using these slightly more emotive, descriptive words helps you create more harmony in a conversation with her.

The Big C Tip No 7: The two-minute technique If all else fails and you still don't 'get' each other, drastic measures are required. Use the two-minute technique where you're each allocated two minutes (time with an egg timer, your watch, etc) to speak uninterrupted about the topic. You both must stick to the rules and hear each other out. Use your time wisely to be clear and positive about the issue. Communication is the glue holding your relationship together - never underestimate its importance

By: Dr. Pam Spurr

We take a look at five of the most common deal breakers in a relationship and show you how you might turn them around into deal makers.

The deal breaker 1: Different expectations in the bedroom The most common culprit is when you have different levels of sex drive. We always assume it's going to be the man who wants more sex but very often the tables are turned. This causes hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

The deal maker Definitely start positively - think about what 'works' when you have sex. For instance, you might not have a lot of sex because of different sex drives, but when you do you're quite experimental trying different positions. Begin the conversation with, eg, "We're so hot when it comes to trying new positions but I know it's frustrating we don't want sex at the same time." Have this conversation when chilled out - not after you've rowed about sex. Set an optimistic mood with an understanding, confident tone of voice. Ask for his suggestions and definitely suggest a compromise between your desires. Finally, ensure the partner with lower sex drive isn't overworked, has health issues, or is unhappy in the relationship. And that the partner with a higher drive isn't using sex to boost their confidence because they feel insecure.

The deal breaker 2: Baby makes three One of the biggest decisions you two will ever make is whether to have a baby. It can be devastating when you don't agree.

The deal maker As soon as a couple feels they're getting serious they should discuss feelings about starting a family. Best to know early where you stand. That said, if down the line you can't agree, first explore why the person that doesn't want a baby feels this way. Secretly inside do they harbour doubts about whether they'd be a good parent? Or maybe they harbour doubts about your relationship? Time for honesty about such feelings - because once on the table there might be solutions. Equally, does the baby-loving partner want a baby for the wrong reasons - secretly fearing your relationship's falling apart and a baby might patch things up? Never a good reason to become parents! Try spending time with friends'/relations' children so you get a feel for the responsibilities parents face. After thoroughly discussing feelings about parenthood, agree a period of time - maybe six months - in which the 'B' (baby) word isn't mentioned. Revisit after this time of 'no pressure' and you might find changes in your/their feelings.

The deal breaker 3: Money, money, money Money differences are cited in a third of breakups. You love each other, have fun together, and assume you'll have the same attitudes towards money. Think again!

The deal maker If you're not living together (and not fully committed) you simply need to decide how you share out spending on dates. You both need to consider the other's earnings to keep things fair. If living together/committed it's incredibly helpful to look at where your different attitudes come from. Maybe one of you comes from a background where money was tight and you can't bear wastage. Once you understand such things you're less likely to fight and more likely to discuss expenditure. Think in ink - sit down together and write out your incomings and outgoings. Seeing these in black and white can focus your minds on how much extra you have to play with. Discuss what 'big ticket' items need saving for and look at what's left over - discuss how best to share out any extra money between you.

The deal breaker 4: Whose house? When you're not living together rows often revolve around whose flat to stay at. You're both likely to have individual needs that mean staying in your own place makes your life easier. When it comes time to moving in the big issue becomes where to live.

The deal maker If you're really into each other - but not living together - the key word is "compromise". Either agree a straightforward 'every other night' rule or simplify it and make it an 'every other fortnight' thing - where for a fortnight you always stay at one person's place when you've been out together. Then swap over, staying at the other partner's place for a fortnight. When it comes to moving in there are many factors. You might have a gut feeling about one neighbourhood over another - but that's not good enough. Spend the time to get to know both of your favourite neighbourhoods. Get practical, eg, time the journeys to each other's workplaces from both neighbourhoods. Ultimately if you're going to work as a couple you need to be able to work these things out.

The deal breaker 5: The in-laws/the outlaws It's amazing how the parents you love can so annoy your partner - and vice versa. There can be many reasons why this dynamic is tricky.

The deal maker Discuss why issues have arisen with either or both sets of your parents. When they visit do they impose their opinions and give unwanted advice? You both need to stand up to your own parents and ask them not to butt in. This can be done firmly but tactfully. Or do you have a problem 'sharing' your partner with their parents? Maybe you need to consider being a little more generous about spending time all together. Or sometimes you two see your individual parents on your own. Finally, beware of criticising your partner's parents. Even if their parents can be a pain they may not want to hear it put that way!

By: Dr. Pam Spurr

Life can be fantastic as a single when you don't want the hassle of a relationship. But for those who long to find love it can feel very lonely out on the dating scene. It seems like you'll never meet Mr Potential let alone Mr Right.

Here are six love lessons to help you to get love into your life: Love lesson No 1: Treat every chance encounter as a speed date Time to develop a 'winner-at-love' mindset and be prepared for the idea that around the next corner is Mr Potential. This means you're ready with a smile plus confident posture radiating positivity that will attract his interest. Treating each encounter like a speed date means you give your best. Standing hunched over, staring at the floor is a big no-no! But saying something neutral that creates a shared experience is a fab start. For instance, as you both wait for the lift in your office building, smile and say: "This lift can take forever." You immediately create that shared experience. Of course play it safe - don't give your number to any old guy - but be ready at work, at the sandwich shop, or even at the dentist's or GP's to signal you're approachable.

Love lesson No 2: Beware of 'chemical' attraction Make sure the Intense sexual chemistry you have with a particular man isn't leading you down the garden path. Sexual chemistry is great - and yes, couples need a spark - but some women repeatedly get swept off their feet by charismatic men who only want a fling. If you're looking for love rather than a bit of fun learn to identify the guys only after one thing from those who can offer you more. Those who only expect sex - and aren't interested in love - tend to ring at the last minute, flirt like mad and use loads of sexual innuendo when with you. And then you don't hear from them until it suits them. Don't waste your time with them!

Love lesson No 3: Dump your normal 'type' It's easy to get stuck always dating the same 'type'. You figure you've always liked, e.g., sporty guys, or outgoing guys, so you always go for them. The problem is you miss lots of other good men because they don't look sporty or they aren't the most outgoing in the group. But think about it logically (I know, hard to do when it comes to love!) and you will realise you could be jeopardising your chances of finding love. Because if you haven't found it yet with your supposed 'type' - maybe that type isn't for you. Be daring, break this relationship bad-habit and go for the opposite type. Try dating that quieter guy or the lanky one who doesn't look sporty. You might find your Mr Right after all.

Love lesson No 4: Widen your circle of opportunity You're already enhancing your opportunities by treating every chance encounter like a speed date. Now you've got to reconsider your 'circle of opportunity'. Research shows we have a set geographical and emotional 'circle' we operate in - taking the same route to work, going to the same pub after work, always seeing the same friends and doing the same things. Seeing as your circle of opportunity hasn't brought you the love of your life it needs changing. Start widening it to maximise love-opportunities. Take new routes to work, go to new places, take a selection of evening classes, enlist a friend to try new bars and clubs with you, and check out some of the singles events in your area as well as internet dating.

Love lesson No 5: Make your love-mascot work for you Sometimes we need inspiration from outside of ourselves. Taking on board a personal love-mascot - in this case someone who's successful in love - can be super helpful. Think about someone you admire from your life who has a really good relationship. Or a celebrity who has found true love, e.g. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt. Turn them into your private love-mascot. Imagine how she approaches her relationship. Can you visualise her confidently chatting up her Mr Right when they first met? If she can do it, so can you. Think of her attitude, her natural ease around men, etc., and bag some of it for yourself every time you walk out of your front door.

Love lesson No 6: Be aware of that little devil on your shoulder The final - and maybe most important - Love Lesson is banishing that little devil on your shoulder that talks you down. You know, that negative voice that whines on and on telling you things like you're not attractive enough, you're a failure at love, no one's going to ever want you, etc. When your internal dialogue - that little devil - consists of all that negativity it's hard to hide it. And whereas confidence is highly attractive, a severe lack of confidence and lots of insecurity that you're not good enough for love is a turnoff. Challenge that voice whenever it starts. Stop it and start telling yourself that you have loads to offer and that you will find love.

By: May Rostom

C.H.A.N.G.E … a six letter word that intimidates us and shakes us to the core. A word that takes you down a dark, bumpy road that will either give you the time of your life or just kill you. A word that makes you want to stop right where you are; look around you and absorb your surroundings, and weigh your options to figure out what exactly you want changed or where else you’d rather be than where you are today. C.H.A.N.G.E is not always a choice, sometimes it’s a result of a path you’ve chosen to take, a consequence that is simply inevitable, and a result that will either make you or break you. Sometimes it’s for the best, sometimes it takes you places you’ve never imagined being, sometimes it completes those gaps in your soul that you’ve waited to fill for so long, and sometimes it makes you glad you’ve come across it. But change isn’t always great. Not everything that’s new and shiny is better than what you already had. Take for example shoes. We all love to treat ourselves to a new pair of stilettos, the ones calling us from window displays each morning on our way to work, beautifully wrapped in big white boxes and red ribbons, making you feel sexy just by looking at them, and as soon as you get the chance you put them right on and show them off to your friends. But when you’re being you, when no one else is around, and when it’s just between you and your feet, you bring out the old Chuck Taylors that are beautifully worn out and covered in mud. You slip them right on and feel like a rock star even though there’s at least one hole on each pair. You appreciate their dirtiness, and you’re not ashamed of them because only they can capture the Real you. C.H.A.N.G.E is important, it’s vital, and necessary to help you grow or evolve one way or another, but that doesn’t mean out with the old. You can still keep that old part of you in your heart, you can still carry the memories around wherever life takes you, you can still remember that the past was part of whom and where you are today, and if you don't like where C.H.A.N.G.E has gotten you, you can go back to where you first were even if it’s just for a day. But the thing about C.H.A.N.G.E is whether you A.C.C.E.P.T it or R.E.J.E.C.T it, it’ll lead you to exactly where you’re supposed to be … your F.U.T.U.R.E!

By: Hugh Wilson Do men think about sex every seven seconds? New research says not, so we asked a bloke to tell us what really goes on in male minds… If I thought about sex as much as people think I thought about sex, it would take me a month to write this article. That's not because people see me as sex mad, it's just because I'm a man. According to common perception, men think about sex pretty much all the time. In fact, the figure usually bandied about is one sex thought every seven seconds. Let's spend a moment taking that in. That's 8,000 sex thoughts a day, or 240,000 in the average month. Where on earth does all the football fit in? Thankfully, psychologist Terri Fisher has done some research on this very subject, and it turns out that men don't think about sex anywhere near as often as that. So what are we thinking about on all those occasions when we're staring blankly into the middle distance and failing to even acknowledge your presence? Here are a few clues... Sex OK, I'll fess up. The research found that we don't think about sex every seven seconds - because that would be almost as often as we breathe - but that we do think about sex quite a lot. Among the 18-25-year-old men in Fisher's survey, sex popped into their minds about once an hour, or around 19 times a day in total (sex dreams obviously didn't count). I can live with that. I probably do think about sex once an hour. But before you call me an outrageous nymphomaniac, consider this. You're not that far behind. According to the study, women tend to think about sex every other hour, or around nine or ten times a day. Sleep The Fisher study also found that - although men think about sex quite a lot - we think about sleep just as often. Again, that works for me. In fact, as the father of very young children, I think about sleep pretty much all the time, and often during sex. There's no doubt that men's thoughts are often in the bedroom, but as often as not, we're fantasising about a long, hot session of satisfying shut-eye. Food Also tied for top spot in the 'what men think about' stakes was food, according to Fisher's study. Yes, we think about food at least as much as we think about sex and sleep. There's a simple reason for that, experts say. There are more triggers for food-based thoughts than there are for pretty much anything else. So the cute girl in accounts might trigger sex thoughts when she wriggles through the office, but everything from the guy in the next cubicle munching on crisps to the smell coming from the works canteen to an advert in the paper for Pot Noodle (we're easily pleased) can trigger thoughts about food. So you might think we're sex starved, but in reality we're often just starved. Work We spend at least eight hours a day at work. Quite often, because men are career driven, we'll add on a couple of hours overtime to impress the boss. Sometimes we'll take work home with us at weekends and occasionally we'll barely have a weekend at all. When we're not actually doing all this work, we're thinking that surely all this work deserves a promotion or a pay rise or at least the keys to the executive toilets. So yes, when you ask us how our day was and we respond with silence and the thousand-yard stare of a brain-addled Vietnam vet, we're probably thinking about work. Sport A study published a couple of years ago told you what you probably already knew: men are obsessed with sport. And I mean, really obsessed. According to the research, 17% of British men admitted to regularly thinking about sport when they're having sex, while 23% said they'd stood up a date to watch a match. We also think about sport every hour, which puts it up there with sex in our minds. If we play sport too we think about it even more. And you can see why. In many ways sport is like sex, in that it usually happens a couple of times a week and is sometimes ecstatically good but often a great big letdown. (Unlike sex, of course, we tend to stick with one team for life.) Man stuff Sorry to admit it, but if we're not thinking about sport, we may well be thinking about other clichéd man stuff. Depending on the man, that can mean cars, power tools, music, trains, trainers, bikes or beer. It's true. Again, well, sorry. Money You come home, flash us your cheekiest smile and disappear into the bedroom. Two minutes later, you come out wearing the cutest, shortest, most take-offable new dress we've ever seen. At that moment you're convinced our minds are focused on sex, and you're half right. And half wrong. Because we're also wondering how much this drop-dead dress may have cost, whether you're about to blow your credit card limit again, and if you'll have enough left over to cover your half of the rent. Yep, we think about money a lot, even at the most inopportune times. Love and family Yep, you read that right. It may surprise you to learn that when we're looking moodily at the stars on the way home from the pub we're not (always) wondering what time the kebab shop closes. We might be thinking about love and children and all that cheesy stuff. We won't admit it to you - that would be unmanly. But a survey for match.com earlier this year of 5,000 singles found that men were quicker to fall in love than women and quicker to start thinking about children. Men were also more likely to fall in love at first sight. So when we're being mean and moody we're not necessarily brooding over the hammering our football team has just taken. We might be wondering why you're not more romantic. So go on, give us a cuddle. Our iPhones or BlackBerries Studies have shown that checking emails on smart phones, tablets and laptops can be addictive, and that men are often more tethered to their electronic devices than women (though many women are too). Which means that when we're pensively pacing the room apparently lost in deep and meaningful thought, we're really waiting for the little beep or ping that signals the arrival of a text, instant message or email, so we can feed our habit and get our fix of (probably trivial) electronic information. You We might not be thinking about sex, but we might still be thinking about you. It might not always be obvious, but you really are in the forefront of our thoughts much of the time. You might not believe it but we really do like doing things that please you and that keep our relationship strong and happy. So we might not be blankly staring into space, we might be thinking about what we can do together this weekend, or planning your birthday surprise, or worrying about that bother you had with your boss (and secretly fantasising about punching him). Quite often we just want to impress you, and we spend quite a lot of time thinking of ways to do it. Soppy I know, but that's men for you.

We watch our weight more than women think The first few times we meet a woman, we'll probably be holding in our paunches. So the chances are we're probably not as thin as we look, and worry more about our weight than women think, or we let on. And some of us may be going even further in our attempts to slim down a less-than-athletic figure. Yep, supermarket Asda has just released a new range of high-waisted, figure-hugging control trunks for men, designed to pull in belly fat and leave a sleek, smooth outline. "We know some guys worry about unmanageable body wobbles just as much as women do so why not offer them a little helping hand to look their best too?" said Heather Moreton, men's clothes manager for Asda supermarket. We’re not as tall as we look When we first meet someone new, we're at pains to emphasise our height. That's natural - tall men look more dominant and dominant men tend to be attractive to women. So we do the usual things, like sitting up straight in a chair even if our natural tendency is to slouch. We try and occupy as much space as possible and keep our chins held high. And some of us, well, cheat, by which we mean we wear shoes that are designed to add a couple of inches where they don't naturally exist. Lift shoes disguise extra height in a thickened heel, making us appear taller than we actually are. Sneaky eh? We groom regularly We claim not to, at least before we know a girl well, but most of us pluck, shave or wax somewhere other than our face. We also use whitening toothpaste and expensive hair gloop. The full-length magnifying mirror in the bathroom was not left by the last tenant after all. We probably don't spend as long in the bathroom as they do - yet. But we're getting there We are careful about what we eat 'I can't be bothered with healthy eating, I eat anything I like.' You'll often hear men saying versions of this line, but you can be pretty sure anyone who does is protesting too much. Even if we're not health freaks, many men agonise over the amount of fresh fruit and veg we've consumed (or failed to consume) that day, how many units of alcohol we've necked that week or how many portions of red meat we need to avoid after last weekend's barbecue binge. In short, we may not always be healthy, but we often worry about what we eat. We can be mentally unfaithful Which is not being unfaithful at all, of course (and women think about stuff they'd never admit to too). But let's face it, we've sized up her friends, her relatives, her female colleagues and, of course, celebrity women too. It's just what we do, and it doesn't mean we'd ever do anything about it. About make-up You know, concealer and stuff. And the black gunk women put around their eyes. And that stuff that makes your face look shiny and healthy. We're not all into it, all of the time, but occasionally we like the idea of it because it means we could wake up feeling like dirt and go to work looking a million dollars. If we're honest (and we never will be) make-up is the one of those 'girl things' we'd most like to have, and we're not quite sure why make-up for men isn't a lot more popular (but until it is we'll give it a miss). Her ex makes us mad We fake indifference, but secretly we're picking up everything she says about her ex and comparing ourselves to him. Of course, we won't admit it. We wouldn't admit to comparing ourselves to other men in any way whatsoever. But everything from the size of his (behave) salary to his favourite football team is noted and stored and subject to our silent disapproval. And if he earns more than us, it's clearly because he's a suck-up. If it transpires that he supports the same team, he's obviously a part-time glory boy fan who wouldn't know the offside rule if it came up and kicked him in the face. We try stuff we say we hate Eat Quorn? You have to be kidding. Yoga? It's for girls. A spa day?! What sort of preening metrosexual do you think I am? But then the people who do those things are quite often slim, supple and glowing with smooth skin and good health. So when we really think about it, if it could be kept totally secret, many of us would really quite like to try it all (and some of us have). We like bad films, sometimes Oh yes, we will rail against the idea of a night in with nibbles and a chick flick, but never quite enough to make her change her mind. That's because, just sometimes, cuddling up on the sofa with a glass of wine and a cheesy and predictable rom-com is the only thing we want to do on a Friday night too. There, I've said it. hahahaha..fineeeeeeeeeee..!!

By: Hugh Wilson Bad boys are unreliable and selfish, but some women seem to love them anyway. We talk to the experts to find out why. We all know one, a bloke who lives his romantic life by the motto "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen". And the most puzzling thing about him is that he does indeed seem to keep them keen. Despite his complete lack of chivalry and a history of messing women around, they still seem to be queuing up for his attentions. In other words, he's a living embodiment of the old cliché that women love a bad boy. Here's why science says that might be so, and how even good guys can get a piece of the action. Do women really want bad boys? Studies suggest that the answer is, in some cases, yes. One study found that men who display a "dark triad" of traits - narcissism, thrill-seeking and deceitfulness - had more sexual partners than those who didn't. And according to behavioural psychologist Jo Hemmings, some women like bad boys precisely because they're mad, bad and dangerous to know. "There can be something extraordinarily tempting about bad boys," she admits. "It's partly the forbidden nature of it all - the rebel in women that still deserves to be unleashed from time to time. Bad boys keep us on our toes, can't be taken for granted and deliver the sort of fun and excitement that might be lacking in the more conventional, reliable guy." Bad boys are fun According to Hemmings, bad boys are "often passionate, unorthodox in their lifestyles and couldn't give a toss what anyone else thinks". And this, she thinks, is just what some women are after, quite a lot of the time. Because if they don't really care what anyone else thinks, bad boys will be spontaneous, rule-breaking and experimental - in and out of the bedroom. They might be moody, unreliable and shallow, too, but at least life will never be dull. That's a large part of the bad boy appeal. It's also true that bad boys represent a challenge, but one with a very satisfying reward. If they can tame a bad boy when so many others have tried and failed, it's a great esteem-booster for any woman. The attraction of a bad boy is the chance to be the only one who can bring out his inner - well-hidden - romantic side. Women love bad boy looks Even if most women don't really want a bloke who will cheat on them at the drop of a hat, many of them fancy a bloke who looks like he might. That's the conclusion of one recent study, in which more than 1,000 adults were asked to rate the sexual attractiveness of pictures of the opposite sex. The women in the study tended to be far more attracted to men who looked proud or brooding than they were to happy, smiling blokes. "While showing a happy face is considered essential to friendly social interactions, including those involving sexual attraction, few studies have actually examined whether a smile is, in fact, attractive," said Jessica Tracy, a professor in the University of British Columbia psychology department, where the research was carried out. And to women, it clearly isn't. Brooding, proud men were considered attractive, perhaps because their expression seemed to display high status. On the other hand, smiling men may have been seen as too eager to please, something that denotes lower status. There's a caveat to all this. The women were only asked to rate the men on raw sexual attractiveness, not on their suitability for a long-term relationship. And that's worth bearing in mind. How to become a 'good' bad boy The message in all of this is that women fancy the bad boy stereotype, but don't want a proper bad boy for a boyfriend. They see a bad boy as a challenge - and the challenge is to bring out his good side. They may want some bad boy traits without wanting the full vain, arrogant, selfish, pain-in-the-arse package. If you're a good guy - and we assume you are - you can use that knowledge to your advantage. The Columbia study suggests that you shouldn't be too eager to please. Be friendly, interested and engaging, but don't agree with everything she says. Have an opinion, argue the point, and don't be at her beck and call. And if the bad boy cliché says anything, it's that we should try to be spontaneous and just a little bit unorthodox, at least from time to time. Because what Hemmings and others say the bad boy appeal really means is that women are worried about getting into a relationship rut. They don't want steady-as-she-goes all the time. They don't want to know in advance what every weekend holds, or indeed how the next hour in bed might turn out. They want passion, impulsiveness and a devil-may-care attitude - in the right circumstances. But they don't want the other stuff - the deception, infidelity or moodiness. In the end, science says the real bad boys lose the girl. "Take heart; most women will want a good guy with good prospects (a stable job and lifestyle) eventually," writes psychologist Dr Nando Pelusi. "Work on being independent and assertive and allowing spontaneity into your repartee. Discover your connection with someone in visceral, not just cerebral, ways." The long game In other words, don't try to be truly bad - even if you pull it off (which is unlikely if it doesn't come naturally) - you'll lose out in the end. If you're a good guy, add a few bad boy traits without compromising your inner decency. Women do fancy a bad boy, but they end up with the guy who offers it all - pride, assertiveness and spontaneity certainly, but decency and fidelity too.

notes from MSN Arabia


By: Zoe Zahra


A pan-European survey of 11,000 people, commissioned by Philips Wake-up Light, has revealed that British people are among the grumpiest in Europe when it comes to waking up in the morning.


The research showed that 90% of us admit that we don't feel refreshed, alert (93%) or ready for the day (68%) first thing in the morning. Furthermore more than 70% of us admit to being negatively affected by darker mornings.


One of the UK's leading sleep experts, Dr. Neil Stanley, shares his advice on how you can help yourself become a morning person.


Here are his top five tips for being a 'morning person':
1. Don't rely on coffee to wake you up. The caffeine content of coffee can vary greatly depending on where it's bought or how it's made. In the past, tests have shown that the average cup of coffee does not contain enough milligrams of caffeine to have any pick-me-up effect, so you may actually be getting no benefit at all from the coffee you convince yourself you need to help you start the day.


2. Don't press the snooze button, instead set the alarm for the time you have to wake up and then get up at THAT time. The extra sleep is far more beneficial for your body than the time spent 'snoozing'.


3. Try and have a regular time that you get out of bed, and stick to that time even on the weekends. The body starts preparing itself to wake up one hour before you actually do, so the routine helps the body know when to start to prepare.


4. Alarm clocks can often startle you out of sleep, which is not perhaps the best start to the day. Dawn simulators offer a solution that allows you to wake-up more naturally.


5. Finally, the best way to feel awake and refreshed in the morning is to make sure you get a decent amount of sleep the night before.