Things men don't want women to know

We watch our weight more than women think The first few times we meet a woman, we'll probably be holding in our paunches. So the chances are we're probably not as thin as we look, and worry more about our weight than women think, or we let on. And some of us may be going even further in our attempts to slim down a less-than-athletic figure. Yep, supermarket Asda has just released a new range of high-waisted, figure-hugging control trunks for men, designed to pull in belly fat and leave a sleek, smooth outline. "We know some guys worry about unmanageable body wobbles just as much as women do so why not offer them a little helping hand to look their best too?" said Heather Moreton, men's clothes manager for Asda supermarket. We’re not as tall as we look When we first meet someone new, we're at pains to emphasise our height. That's natural - tall men look more dominant and dominant men tend to be attractive to women. So we do the usual things, like sitting up straight in a chair even if our natural tendency is to slouch. We try and occupy as much space as possible and keep our chins held high. And some of us, well, cheat, by which we mean we wear shoes that are designed to add a couple of inches where they don't naturally exist. Lift shoes disguise extra height in a thickened heel, making us appear taller than we actually are. Sneaky eh? We groom regularly We claim not to, at least before we know a girl well, but most of us pluck, shave or wax somewhere other than our face. We also use whitening toothpaste and expensive hair gloop. The full-length magnifying mirror in the bathroom was not left by the last tenant after all. We probably don't spend as long in the bathroom as they do - yet. But we're getting there We are careful about what we eat 'I can't be bothered with healthy eating, I eat anything I like.' You'll often hear men saying versions of this line, but you can be pretty sure anyone who does is protesting too much. Even if we're not health freaks, many men agonise over the amount of fresh fruit and veg we've consumed (or failed to consume) that day, how many units of alcohol we've necked that week or how many portions of red meat we need to avoid after last weekend's barbecue binge. In short, we may not always be healthy, but we often worry about what we eat. We can be mentally unfaithful Which is not being unfaithful at all, of course (and women think about stuff they'd never admit to too). But let's face it, we've sized up her friends, her relatives, her female colleagues and, of course, celebrity women too. It's just what we do, and it doesn't mean we'd ever do anything about it. About make-up You know, concealer and stuff. And the black gunk women put around their eyes. And that stuff that makes your face look shiny and healthy. We're not all into it, all of the time, but occasionally we like the idea of it because it means we could wake up feeling like dirt and go to work looking a million dollars. If we're honest (and we never will be) make-up is the one of those 'girl things' we'd most like to have, and we're not quite sure why make-up for men isn't a lot more popular (but until it is we'll give it a miss). Her ex makes us mad We fake indifference, but secretly we're picking up everything she says about her ex and comparing ourselves to him. Of course, we won't admit it. We wouldn't admit to comparing ourselves to other men in any way whatsoever. But everything from the size of his (behave) salary to his favourite football team is noted and stored and subject to our silent disapproval. And if he earns more than us, it's clearly because he's a suck-up. If it transpires that he supports the same team, he's obviously a part-time glory boy fan who wouldn't know the offside rule if it came up and kicked him in the face. We try stuff we say we hate Eat Quorn? You have to be kidding. Yoga? It's for girls. A spa day?! What sort of preening metrosexual do you think I am? But then the people who do those things are quite often slim, supple and glowing with smooth skin and good health. So when we really think about it, if it could be kept totally secret, many of us would really quite like to try it all (and some of us have). We like bad films, sometimes Oh yes, we will rail against the idea of a night in with nibbles and a chick flick, but never quite enough to make her change her mind. That's because, just sometimes, cuddling up on the sofa with a glass of wine and a cheesy and predictable rom-com is the only thing we want to do on a Friday night too. There, I've said it. hahahaha..fineeeeeeeeeee..!!