By: Hanya Riad
It’s becoming more common that all fresh graduate men are trying to find a proper job in Saudi Arabia, Emirates or Qatar… Possibly for finding a better opportunity but I think a part of them is trying to escape the lack of motivation that is due to Egypt’s political situation at the moment. There are just so many couples around me who are separated by distance, that just remind me of the quote
“Out of sight out of mind” and I keep wondering if this is true.
After I have tried it myself, the out of sight problem is nothing compared to all things you have to go through while being far away from your partner.
First the TRUST issues, how can you trust someone while being separated for a year? Even if you are totally being honest, your mind and his/hers can’t help but wonder what you might be possibly doing wrong. And once you’ve had one fight about something, you can’t stop thinking and re-thinking before doing anything else!
But there is another point, the ultimate question: should I tell him/her or not?
Sometimes there are some trivial stuff that happen that don't even classify as News, you don’t know if you should talk about with your partner or just keep it for yourself, this makes it even harder for you, and will probably affect your relationship later.
Second, the constant feeling of CONFUSION, You feel that you miss your partner, and you start thinking about all your memories together, and then you have this feeling that it’s not the same anymore, and then you start wondering if you should continue this relationship or end it before it’s too hard and complicated for the both of you.
Third, the WHO CARES MORE question, in all couples there is always the one who tries harder to keep the relation going, but when distance comes in, it’s not the same anymore. If the person who tries harder is the one abroad, then he/she will be like “as soon as I left he/she forgot all about me and is having her routine without any changes, it’s like I no longer exist… Etc. “ And if it is the one who’s left behind who cares more she/he will be like “ oh yea she/he made new friends and has a new life there is no place for me, she/he never have the time to Skype with me… “ It’s always the same scenario.
Mother Nature made all girls pushy and impulsive and they usually care more about actions based on sudden desires, rather than careful thoughts. This attitude won’t only destroy the relationship between two people, but it will destroy your feelings for your partner, and eventually your daily life.
So what are the keys for a peaceful long distance relationship?
It’s too bad I can’t answer this question, but I can only give you some tips I’ve learned while trying to keep my relationship going while being separated for a year.
1) AVOID DRAMA, do your best to avoid fighting over stupid stuff and try to calm your partner if they are mad at you because they will be even madder that you are not even with them at this moment.
2) Never forget the KEYWORDS: I miss you. Every time you go somewhere or do something new you should remind your partner that you wish they were with you.
3) Never ever mention the “out of sight out of mind” quote – trust me on that one, been there, done that!
4) Try to come visit or invite your partner to come visit, if it’s not possible at least show them that you wish you could.
5) Don’t lie, because the truth always comes out anyway and then it eventually makes everything else seem like a lie.
6) Try to have a daily conversation about what you both do; it is easy nowadays with Skype, Viber, or even BBM.
And the most important, you have to be sure you are with the right person before going through this! Don’t get yourself in a long distance relationship that will keep you apart more time than you’ve spent together - And of course if you’re dating a Don Juan, don’t even leave him more than 2 minutes!
It’s becoming more common that all fresh graduate men are trying to find a proper job in Saudi Arabia, Emirates or Qatar… Possibly for finding a better opportunity but I think a part of them is trying to escape the lack of motivation that is due to Egypt’s political situation at the moment. There are just so many couples around me who are separated by distance, that just remind me of the quote
“Out of sight out of mind” and I keep wondering if this is true.
After I have tried it myself, the out of sight problem is nothing compared to all things you have to go through while being far away from your partner.
First the TRUST issues, how can you trust someone while being separated for a year? Even if you are totally being honest, your mind and his/hers can’t help but wonder what you might be possibly doing wrong. And once you’ve had one fight about something, you can’t stop thinking and re-thinking before doing anything else!
But there is another point, the ultimate question: should I tell him/her or not?
Sometimes there are some trivial stuff that happen that don't even classify as News, you don’t know if you should talk about with your partner or just keep it for yourself, this makes it even harder for you, and will probably affect your relationship later.
Second, the constant feeling of CONFUSION, You feel that you miss your partner, and you start thinking about all your memories together, and then you have this feeling that it’s not the same anymore, and then you start wondering if you should continue this relationship or end it before it’s too hard and complicated for the both of you.
Third, the WHO CARES MORE question, in all couples there is always the one who tries harder to keep the relation going, but when distance comes in, it’s not the same anymore. If the person who tries harder is the one abroad, then he/she will be like “as soon as I left he/she forgot all about me and is having her routine without any changes, it’s like I no longer exist… Etc. “ And if it is the one who’s left behind who cares more she/he will be like “ oh yea she/he made new friends and has a new life there is no place for me, she/he never have the time to Skype with me… “ It’s always the same scenario.
Mother Nature made all girls pushy and impulsive and they usually care more about actions based on sudden desires, rather than careful thoughts. This attitude won’t only destroy the relationship between two people, but it will destroy your feelings for your partner, and eventually your daily life.
So what are the keys for a peaceful long distance relationship?
It’s too bad I can’t answer this question, but I can only give you some tips I’ve learned while trying to keep my relationship going while being separated for a year.
1) AVOID DRAMA, do your best to avoid fighting over stupid stuff and try to calm your partner if they are mad at you because they will be even madder that you are not even with them at this moment.
2) Never forget the KEYWORDS: I miss you. Every time you go somewhere or do something new you should remind your partner that you wish they were with you.
3) Never ever mention the “out of sight out of mind” quote – trust me on that one, been there, done that!
4) Try to come visit or invite your partner to come visit, if it’s not possible at least show them that you wish you could.
5) Don’t lie, because the truth always comes out anyway and then it eventually makes everything else seem like a lie.
6) Try to have a daily conversation about what you both do; it is easy nowadays with Skype, Viber, or even BBM.
And the most important, you have to be sure you are with the right person before going through this! Don’t get yourself in a long distance relationship that will keep you apart more time than you’ve spent together - And of course if you’re dating a Don Juan, don’t even leave him more than 2 minutes!
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